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5th-May-2008 01:22 pm - Falling for the HYPE

I know that there is a lot of back and forth, he said - she said kinda stuff going on out there.  ANd you all know I am an Obama supporter who used to love Hillary.  But, there are two things that need to be really clear here:
 
1.  The Gas Tax Holiday is a ploy.  Nothing more.  Political pandering at its best.  All economists who are not funded by big oil say it is nothing more than a political gimmick.  The amount of money "saved" would be minimal and would likely be made up by the oil companies in higher costs.  AND, it is NOT an answer, or even an approach to one, in terms of the problems with energy costs, effeciencies or the monopoly the Oil Companies have on the industry.  It is a very ill-fitting, generic, second-rate band-aid that will solve nothing and would likely be vetoed by George "Shell Game" W. Bush.  It is simply another opportunistic slam by a candidate who is taking every possible opportunity to make herself appear that SHE is the one in touch with you and I - cause we all made 109 Million dollars over the last couple years and have someone else around to pump our gas.  Cause someone who just recently finished paying off student loans is an "elitist" and someone who has taken less Oil money than any candidate in recent history is "siding with" and being a "pawn of" the oil industry.
 
2.  There is a REASON that every right wing media shark in this country is endorsing HILLARY CLINTON.  There is a REASON that the only attacks you see coming out of the Republican National Committee are aimed at Obama.  They WANT Hillary as the Democratic Nominee because they KNOW that they can beat her in November.  They are scared of Obama.  That is the reason they are all against him.  When have you seen ANY support for a Democratic candidate in a primary season from a Republican candidate, pundit or party?  Never.  And Hillary is eating it up as though she were oblivious to the political game being played.  I am waiting for George W to endorse her and for HIllary to accept his support to show how she is "bringing folks together".  Republicans want her because every right-leaning person in this country would come out to vote against her. 
 
Vote how you like.  Do what you feel you need to.  But, don't go into any of it pretending that the previous things are not happening or that they don't mean what is clear to everyone. 

30th-Apr-2008 05:40 pm(no subject)

This is not a scam, joke or trick.  THis is a real.  You do not have to identify yourself, all you have to do is push buttons. 
 
Please read below.  It is ridiculous that a group can have this much power over an organization, or at least think they do.  What ATWT is showing is harmless - for years, the mere sight of two men kissing has cause radical fundamentalists to scream there heads off, but soaps and evening shows frequently show BLATANT heterosexual activity leaving little to the imagination - not just kissing!!!  ANd no one thinks anything of it. 
 
And besides  - CENSORSHIP!!!  There, that got some of you guys' attention. 
 
If you agree, do your part and follow the steps.  Literally took me 2 minutes.  If you don't - you better email me with a good reason why not!!!! 
 
PASS IT ON. 


 


 Dear CCA supporter,
Want advertisers to continue to support gay-friendly programming?
Procter & Gamble, the parent of numerous familiar household product brands, is currently under pressure from anti-gay conservatives for including a same-sex kiss between the characters Noah and Luke who are a couple on the daytime program "As the World Turns." The kiss was a response to previous support by fans who wanted to see the couple kiss again since last September, and even mailed bags of Hershey's chocolate kisses to the CBS studio.


 

Supposedly, this is the YouTube Link. 
http://m1e.net/c?38292274-Y/.WmFAOrxYKE%403295472-.l7PIYPWOPo5Y


But the American Family Association (AFA) issued an action alert to get its members to contact P&G, the show's producer, to stop future gay affection on the soap: "Procter & Gamble has resumed using explicit, open-mouth homosexual kissing in their soap opera, 'As the World Turns.' P&G decided to include this type of content as a commitment to 'diversity.' Gay activists are hopeful that the P&G effort will desensitize viewers to the homosexual lifestyle and help make the unhealthy and immoral lifestyle more acceptable to society, especially to children and youth."
So P&G has set up a phone voting system to register your support (or disagreement) with the program. It's easy to take action: just dial 800-331-3774. You'll be prompted to press #1 for English. Then press #2 to express your thoughts on "the storyline of As the World Turns." Then you can press #1 to say you support the Luke & Noah storyline.


There's nobody to talk to, you are not asked to identify yourself -- and it takes just a few seconds.


Sincerely,


Michael Wilke

Oh my GOD! 
 
 
Basically, if you don't want to read it - BP and Shell posted FIRST QUARTER PROFITS of $17,000,000,000 today.  Yes, that is billion and that is ONLY first quarter.  That is 2 (two) - one more than 1 and one less than 3 - of the major oil companies.  These are their PROFITS!
 
And today, when holding a press conference to blame Congress for the recession (like his daddy blamed it on cycles  - though Carter's was his fault and the first one W had was Bill's) - he also addressed the rising costs of food and fuel. 
 
His response!?!?! 
 
Well, he felt that we needed to cut back on handouts and that it was important to allow those people who were prospering to foot their own bill and stop accepting government subsidies.  Yes, that is right.  He said he felt that the FARMERS were doing good now and we should cut back on these "unnecessary subsidies" for the "farm industry".  No mention of the $18,000,000,000 the government "estimates" subsidizing the oil industry last year.  

This is your President.  This is your government.  And we should get behind them in shutting down those ecological and budgetary terrorists, the American Farmer. 
 
Call your congressman today.  Or better yet, just go protest your local farmer's market.  Shame on them!
 
 
 
I want to vomit. 
 
 
Back when I first heard about the comments made by Rev. Wright, I was incensed. Who would do such a thing? Who would side with our aggressors in attacking this country when it was at its weakest? Who would demonstrate such a lack of patriotism in a time of national crisis? 
 
 
Then I decided to read his comments. The first, most interesting, thing to me was to find his most inflammatory remark, about “chickens coming home to roost”, was actually not his remark at all. He was actually quoting Edward Peck, former U.S. Ambassador to Iraq and deputy director of President Reagan’s terrorism task force, who was speaking on FOX News. Then I read further and realized: I don’t disagree with this man. Our foreign policy HAS incited violence and hatred and anti-American sentiment. We HAVE committed acts, as a nation, which we, ourselves, are now defining as terrorism!
 
OH MY GOD!! I agree with Reverend Wright!! This was the decision I came to. And at the time, I was firmly entrenched in Hillary’s camp. 
 
We will now all wait for Hillary to apologize for me and denounce me as a supporter who actually gave her campaign money. 
 
 
 
What is all this asinine bullshit of everyone running for office right now spending half of their campaign apologizing for or distancing themselves from people they have bumped into in their lives? I will grant you that if the head of your campaign is saying something like “McCain is an asshole and should be shot”, you kinda have to bite the bullet on that one. But, to have to apologize for every comment made by some idiot you knew at some point in your life is just the most ridiculous waste of time and energy I have ever seen. In this age of technology, everyone with enough savvy to operate a sit and spin can get themselves on the internet. Every idiot with a camera phone can take an inopportune photo or video. And God help those with actual digital video!! 
 
 
But, the point is, we all know idiots – and some of us are. Must all this time be spent hammering on folks for the things others say? I don’t CARE about Geraldine Ferraro, or whatever McCain’s minister guy said. They are NOT running for President. Let it go! I am much more interested in what the candidates are saying. 
 
“At least I am not painted up like a trollop, you c$&t!” – John McCain to HIS WIFE!
“Iran is training Al Qaeda” – John McCain to any idiot who would listen.
 
“There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.” – Hillary Clinton on her arrival in Bosnia in 1996 after a “corkscrew” landing to avoid anti-aircraft fire. 
 
And, while trying to be fair – I can’t find a quote for Obama that I can’t justify in some way. But, I did notice in the last debate he said he wouldn’t raise taxes on the middle class and 30 minutes later said he would raise the cap on income tax. (but even then – Barack said  $75 thousand and Charlie Gibson imposed his idea of $200 - $250 thousand).
 [Katie responds to Charlie’s Moderating skills at the last debate]
 
SHUT UP WITH ALL THE DENOUNCING!!!! People are idiots and everyone can see that. MOVE ON!!! Debate the issues – talk about what’s important and focus on the needs of this country. This distraction bullshit is exactly why we have had the last 7 years we have had. Stay focused, stay clear and hold accountable! 
 
DENOUNCE THIS!!!!
9th-Apr-2008 11:11 am - Why Do We Ignore the Obvious?
Modern culture says “You must be busy, stressed, overworked and exhausted”. And so, we are. We are programmed that you must have 26 hours of things to do in a 24 hour day. We run around as though the house were on fire, rushing to get to work, to get home, to get . . . to get. . . . to get.. . . . Being exhausted is a badge of honor. How many times have you heard people competing to see who got less sleep, all couched in a sympathetic conversation about how tired they are this morning/afternoon/3am. “I only got 4 hours sleep last nigh!” “I know! I didn’t even get to bed till 4am”. 
 
All this is simply to ask – is this why we ignore what is going on in front of us? Have we so bought into the notion that life is not lived if we are not going non-stop, running ourselves into the ground that we cannot even stop a moment and say – hey, what is going on outside my circle? What is happening that I am pretending not to see/know about/care about/ OR have time to do anything about?!
 
I know, there are many things out there that are strictly political and my outrage may be just mine – or yours. But, there are so many things happening that are HUMAN issues and not Dems/Reps.   For example, and bear with me:
 
Why are we paying almost $3.50 for a gallon of gas and likely to hit $4.00 by the summer? Alright, there can be answers to this. And I will listen to them. I will even listen to the answer as to why there is ALWAYS a spike in prices before a peak driving period or as to why the oil companies pick those times to cut production.
 But, the questions that hang out there for me are – why do oil companies need to charge these fees when they operate with (latest numbers of all major oil companies) $90,000,000,000 profit.   Yea, I wanted you to see those zero’s. AND, why they are continuing to take $18,000,000,000 a year from the government for subsidies to explore fuel alternatives. Now, never mind the dichotomy of an oil company wanting to spend money to find something American’s can use BESIDES their billion dollar profit making product – the point is – We ALL know this!!! We are all aware of this! We are all outraged by this!! And nothing changes. 
 
OR
 
We have a pharmaceutical industry that reports record profits every year. The top 5 organizations last year made $54,000,000 in profits (seems small compared to the oil barrens right?). Now, let’s keep in mind that profits means money left AFTER ALL bills, expenditures costs are paid. Which means, salaries of all employees, transportation, even corporate salaries have all been paid, often shareholders covered, and, in some fuzzy math, bonuses have been, too. So, we have some bucks floating around. 
                                                                                                                                                                             
Yet, your medications are no cheaper. Medications that have been on the market for years, which have recouped their research and development costs a lifetime ago, rise in price just like brand new items. Maintenance Meds – monthly recurring medications – often cost more than once off medications to treat a one-time condition – regardless of the cost of research and development. Why? Because you will continue to feed the pockets for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. Medications that cause ailments in coming off of them that are worse than the condition they are created to fight. Reason? To keep you on them. Medications to treat conditions that DIDN’T even exist until the commercial was written/produced/shot and aired. Again, we KNOW all of this. But, there is St. John’s Worts to calm our anxiety about it and Ambien to help us sleep though it. 
 
AND
 
I can’t help it and will try to be as unbiased as I can – We have an administration who has done things we all KNOW are questionable. They have taken away liberties and rights, they have manipulated information, ignored international treaties WE WROTE, they have mislead and misguided for their own means. Now, these things are not opinions – they are facts. You can say some were deliberate, some accidental and some a misunderstanding, but they occurred. And still do. Now, is this different from other administrations? – I don’t know. But, here is the BIG difference – they did it right in front of us. And didn’t even try to hide it. All the information is there for anyone to see/read/hear who really wants to. Whether you buy into the reasons for doing any of it or not – the blatant challenge to try and stop it has been evident for many years. I sometimes feel like I am in a Twilight Zone episode. It is like THEY know that WE know they are pulling one over on us, but we hand them the wool and lay back and with a gleam in the eye and a chuckle, they say thanks and cover us up. 
 
Agree with all, any or none. Your call – but I believe it is hard to argue, based on the all evidence out there, that we have become a nation of people who don’t seem to mind getting pushed around. There is that old line from some cartoon, upon getting smacked “thank you, sir, may I have another”. We have become masochists to the abuse of and by power. I have said for awhile that we have raised a generation of people who take no personal responsibility. There is always someone else to blame for an action, statement, event. But, it seems to me, we have also become a country of victims. Look what the bad man did. I am so trod upon. God forbid we actually fight back or stand up. 
 
We KNOW this stuff is happening! We DO nothing. How can we ever expect anything better? And the bar has now been set for every PT Barnum coming down the line and looking for a sucker. Though he seemed to have the ratio wrong - one a minute would be a blessing in these days. 
 
I remember back when there was huge debate in the 90’s about homosexuals with recognition stepping forward and stepping out. One of the things that people often said was “if every homosexual in America suddenly turned green, most people in this country would be shocked and things would rapidly start changing”. I wonder if that would be true of all us who were fed up with being told we were powerless.
 
Maybe it’s time we all turned green. 
7th-Apr-2008 04:17 pm - Master Cleanse - WHAT?!?!!
 Alright, so I have done it before.  THE MASTER CLEANSE!!!!! Guaranteed to get that colon so clean you can eat off it!!!


So, I decided it was time.  I wanted to commit.  The ENTIRE 10 days, WITH the Sea Salt flushes.  See, when I did it last time, I only did the flush on the last day - which for me came on day 5!  So, I really only HALF did it before. See, the lies begin already!  

So, I had church on Sunday and suddenly got concerned that it would take longer to.......ummmmm......flush than I had BEFORE I had to be at church.  We were singing Sunday, so I didn't want to be onstage (yep my church is a stage - and not metaphorically - a literal stage!!), getting all Joyful Joyful and have to ruin the Sister Act II moment by running my joyful ass offstage.  This is a doubly interesting image as 1. I would likely be leaking and 2. My toe did not miraculously heal just because I have found something else to write about.  So, hobbling and leaking my joyful ass offstage might be better phrasing.  

Anyway, I got home and did the flush.  Squeaky clean in under two hours.  I mean, that's what they said.  I had done these before - sometimes less than 1 hour.  Well, maybe it takes longe . . .no, under two hours.  Well, maybe I didn't use enough water . . .no, 1 quart = 32 oz..  Okay, maybe I didn't use the right kind  . . .nope, sea salt, uniodized - or amoun    2 teaspoons.  ...... hmmmm.  Welll, at least, according to all the literature, because of the weight of sea salt and the amount of warm water, it is impossible for your body to just absorb the flush.
  


WRONG!!!!

Nothing.  Nada.  Sahara.  All this time later and still, nada.  I mean, there has been the regula . . .well, you get it.  

So, I thought I would just continue the lemonade drink - which, if you are unaware is lemon juice, water, maple syrup and cayenne pepper.  I thought I would eventually stop belching and tasting sea water.  So, I drank it.  I drank it through the salt water.  I drank through the constant vurping (shakespearean) occurring midway into my mouth and down my esophagus.  I even continued drinking it through the blinding, nauseating headache that began about 7pm last night.  

This morning, I woke at 7am with my cat Armand
 sitting by my head as he has begun to do.  He used to wake me as a kitten (he not me) by butting his head into my face.  He has leaned toward that again, but, now, likes lying next to my head (the lying continues) for me to roll over and use his back as a pillow.  This morning, I did this happily, eyes still pounding behind closed lids.  I took in a deep breath, and all I could smell was lemons and maple syrup.  As I barely avoided retaliating for the endless hairballs and got up in time to keep down whatever passed for stomach contents, I began to question the sanity of my dietary choices.  

I realized, lying (again) on the sofa and keeping down my stomach lining, that maybe I had LIED (we made it to the last one - for now) to myself.  Maybe my intentions were not altruistic.  Maybe I was not doing this to provide a clean slate for which to adjust my dietary habits and start anew. 

Maybe it was actually because I have put on way too much weight lately and was freaking out about visiting my best friend this weekend and being embarrassed by my weight.  
She is in the top left hand corner.  So you understand my fear of her judgment!  

So, it was nice to finally get it in perspective.  And it was nice to make that realization. 

And, if there is any consolation, it is that the smell of maple syrup makes me want to hurl.  So, our traditional Chocolate Chip Pancakes will likely be foregone.  



4th-Apr-2008 11:20 am - Hunk, Hunky, Hunker

So, I am in the process of dating again. And I find myself looking at all kinds of websites and reading all sorts of ideas, suggestions, opinions about men and what they are looking for. And, here is something that is starting to concern me. Do gay men have their best interests in mind when they are dating, or just their best image?

I see this a lot.


"Looking for that Hunk" "Dream guy wanted"

Here is my question - why is this your dream guy? Okay, I am not stupid - I get it. He is totally hot. Nice body, great eyes, hair, abs, abs, abs, legs, abs, chest, hair, eyes, arms, legs, abs, chin.

ALright, before I make my point, full disclosure - I am a big guy. Fought my weight my entire life. Bigger now than I have been in years and fresh back into the dating scene. So, yeah, can put me into the category of "fat guy with a bitter outlook" if, after reading this it is more comfortable to do so than consider there may be truth in what I am saying, but. . . perhaps I am not offbase here.

Okay, we all have our "type". That person who physically appeals to us more than others. For me, it would be this:


 Yes, I have always had a thing for the tall, thin guy.  He doesn't have to be ripped or anything, just like the height.  I think it started with this man - but not this film.  It was the first image of him walking out of the "transformation unit" in EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY.  Damn!  

And those ideals are great.  But, what do these terms even mean, "hunk", "hot"? Yes, they are completely subjective.  But, they paint pictures and place restrictions on things and people.  And I worry we are treading in dangerous areas.  

Look, I get it.  My ideal guy is 6'4" and between 180-200ibs.  It is what I physically desire.  But, what, in the name of God, does that have to do with who that person is?  Rumor has it that Jeff Goldbloom is a total asshole.  But, he's perfect, right?  

I am not suggesting that we all go out and start dating people that we have no attraction to, that would be crazy.  But, what I am suggesting is that we expand our boundaries of attraction.  And, I know, many will read this and say, Come on, isn't this debate dated?  Haven't we addressed the "book by it's cover" issue?  To which I respond, "have we?  Did it stick?"  

All I am saying is that, for me, I am working to expand my dating criteria. Physical attributes are lovely and great.  But, they have become, and remain, the main focus of the gay culture. And that can be problematic.  Because, trust me, when I am needing love and support from someone who loves every part of me unconditionally; when I wake up at 3am with fears and nightmares; when I need someone to bring me soup or help make those life-altering or ending medical decisions - that hot, giant, fit fuck partner might actually be 5'5" and 250.
  

Does that mean we settle?  No.  But as a culture we need to continue to ask ourselves if we are really too much representative of the stereotypes people have of us and whether or not we, ourselves, have bought into it.  Now days, gay people come out younger and learn at an earlier age that gay folk have great taste, live in the gym and spend their lives making sexual conquests  It is starting to be ingrained into the "training" and people are buying into it.  They are not asked to consider what happens after gravity kicks in and sustenance is defined less by what happens in the bedroom, the dance floor and the fashion stores. We don't have to mirror heterosexuals and marry with the kids, fence and dog.  But, we do need, if we want that 'serious relationship' everyone claims to be seeking, to start looking past the treadmill and the palates class and start actually getting to know the abs and the glutes -those muscles may be hot, but they may be all there is. And they can't make soup.  














 

4th-Apr-2008 01:18 am - It CAN be worse!

So, when I broke my toe, it was clear from the moment it happened.  I never questioned it.  I called my ex and my doctor and both said, go to the emergency room.  I said, "why?  They will x-ray it, tell me it is broken (which I already know) and tape it."  To which they both replied  - "NOW!!"  

So, I went.  And 7 hours later, the doctor looked at the x-ray and said "Hmmm.  Your toe is broken, I am going to tape it."  Shock!  

So, the thing I thought throughout the entire 7 hours I sat there wondering why the hell they WEREN'T calling my name - aside from the nagging annoyance that on a day I didn't have to go to work, I was stuck here instead of at home on the couch watching tv (which I should really consider as a warning sign!!!) - But, my thought was - this pain is really not that bad.  I mean, I generally handle pain pretty well.  Minor pain will send me into child-like tantrums, but real pain tends to make me very quiet and calm.  This was too much for a tantrum, but really very manageable.  

Tonight, I realized - it CAN be worse! Our neighbors moved and we took several of their furniture pieces to sell for them.  So, on top of our usual strewn pieces which can gather a bit at times, we have extra furniture in the living room.  It is a bit cluttered!  

So, walking into the kitchen through the living room, I discovered the pain of kicking a piece of furniture with a broken toe .
 . . . 
 . . 
 . .
 . . 
. . 
.
.
ow.  

It is really a much more intense pain than the initial break.  Even now, with my mind swimming and my fingers three times too thick to accurately stroke the keyboard without constantly deleting - all beautiful effects of vicadin - the toe throbs. 

Ow.
   

3rd-Apr-2008 03:23 pm - Exes ROCK!
So, I have been having a wonderful time over the last year or so getting to know my ex all over again.  

Okay, as many know, I have been living with my ex since we split up two years ago.

..........

.........

Go ahead, I'll wait.

.........

........

Done?  

........

Cool.  So, he has really been wonderful.  He has done as much for me since we split as he did while we were together.  Supporting my choices, providing emotional, spiritual and even financial (medical) support over the time.  He has truly been an amazing man and an incredible friend.

And now, we have officially crossed back into the land of friends.  

He just got me a membership to . . . .


wait for it . . . . . 


Ready?

/ / // / / /







There are so many things we could read into that.  What is really cool?  He is really just looking out for me.  

I may have to work it out in therapy later, but right now - he kinda rocks!!!
30th-Mar-2008 11:33 pm - The Miracle is - it took 40 years!!!

It is possible that the picture alone falls into the category of OVERSHARE!  Yeah, the feet are not pretty.  I am not even posting it to show off the lovely tattoo of which I am overly proud.  GREAT tattoo and GREAT experience.  

See, it was the mother of all bachelor parties.  Crazy night, blackouts, needles and cavorting.  I am suprised there were no arrests and that the groom made it to the wedding!  

Actually - it was me, my little brother and my dad.  The evening consisted of the three of us taking on batting cages (our dad still standing outside the cages coaching us like we were back in little league), racing go-carts (which became more like bumber cars), and playing lazer-tag.  My brother and I would stand by Dad shooting him repeatedly every time his vest cleared as he stood there, without moving, running or hiding, trying to figure out why his vest kept flashing off as soon as it came back on.  This led to the midnight tattoo parlor visit.  It lasted till 4am resutling in this image on my foot and the same one on my brother's forearm.  It was with me on the table, foot planted flat for the artist, that my brother looked down and very quietly, as is his way, said, "dude.  You got hobbit feet."  And I haven't been able to see anything else since.  

But the real reason the picture is here is because the hobbit has been hobbled.  I just wanted to post a picture of the little toe (I know - IS there a LITTLE toe!!?!?!?).  It is the one I call "the gripper".  You will notice a lovely purple ring developing around the base of it.  That is where the bone was snapped by the sneaky door-jam leading into my bathroom.  I told the doctor, with feet this size, combined with my absolute clumsiness and my desire to spend as much of my life barefoot as possible, it is a miracle this is the first time I have snapped a bone.  

Oh, and for those of you, like me, who have gone through your life saying "oh, I have broken my toe(s) a couple of times", I will just say, if you REALLY have, you know it!  Breaking and stubbing - two different universes.  

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